Colin the Cranky Cabbage

Colin may look tough on the outside, but deep down, he’s just a big softie—under many layers of grump. He’s the veggie equivalent of that friend who always acts like they don’t care but shows up with snacks when you’re sad. Got a problem? Colin will roll his eyes and say, “Oh, please,” but then offer surprisingly solid advice. He’s perfect for those days when you just need to complain about everything. Colin gets it. He lives in a state of mild annoyance.

Colin’s motto:

“Life’s rough, but at least I’m delicious in a slaw.”

Colin’s your go-to when you need someone who’ll listen to your rant and then tell you to get over it—in the most caring way possible.